Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
