possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
