I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
too bad you live with your parents still
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
