Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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