At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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