I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She bit a glass in half.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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