I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
