girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
