She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
