He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
