and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
