Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

Or a large amount of condoms?!?

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(818): View more from California

his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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(813): View more from Florida

the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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(810): View more from Michigan

It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n

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