i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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