Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
