dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
