Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have to summon your inner elephant
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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