sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
