Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
