You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize