last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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