Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
