genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
PANTIES FOUND
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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