i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
two words: eviction party
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
