At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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