i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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