With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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