singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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