my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
