in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
