Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
