Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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