i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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