So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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