Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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