I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
