I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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