I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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