from now on my penis is your penis
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
