We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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