either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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