I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
now i know why i became what i already was.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
