Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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