Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
