i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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