I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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