i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
