I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
