My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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