But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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