please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
