dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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