I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
