Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize