Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
