I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
