I cannot find my penis.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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