Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I checked into jail on foursquare
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize