Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
