she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
