Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
