Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
worst night to have a conscience
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
