where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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