if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She told me I should be a condom model.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
