plz talk dirty to me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
